As my first idea was actually to add some motion or expression to the character at act 3 to finish well.
So the 2nd draft for the script is:
Script
Act one
(Throughout the whole animation an italian opera will be playing, song and artist not defined until the moment)
It all starts with a shot of the table where all the condiments and other objects will be. Being these objects, the pepper mill, a olive oil bottle, Italian bread, olives and Parmesan cheese, as well I'll be adding a set of menus with a typical name for a Italian Restaurant to set us in the place quickly.
Act two
(On this table, the objects will get life and start to act, mainly the pepper mill.)
(focusing on the objects table)
We hear the waiter serving the table starting by asking if they would like any bread or olives, the customer replies affirmatively
so the waiter approaches the table and gets the bread and olives, and it starts the "pick me" game.
On one side, we hear the waiter serving the table asking if the customer wants Olive Oil, the customer replies yes ,on the other side, we see the pepper mill trying to grab some attention by moving around and jumping.
After, the waiter asks a similar question, if the customer's would like some Parmesan Cheese. the pepper mill hearing that decides to grab once again the attention by jumping and making some "grounding" noises.
Finally the waiter approaches the table once more to ask the igniting question, if the customers would like some fresh pepper. The pepper mill hearing that starts to get excited and as just like a soldier is ready for action, our pepper mill is also ready to season the food.
For the last time, the waiter reaches the table to get the pepper mill.
On the way to the table, the pepper mill builds his excitement, and when arrives he starts to perform his "job".
(the previous music now intensifies and is louder)
Seasoning food gives an ecstatic and joyful feeling and the pepper mill seasons and seasons ecstatically the food without stopping creating a cloud of dust that occupies the whole screen, while this is happening we can hear people sneezing and coughing.
Act three
when the cloud of dust partly settles,we see the silhouette of the pepper mill bowing as a matter of thanking to the customers. In that position we hear him sneeze coming from within the remaining of the dust in the air.The dust finally settles and It is a shot of our pepper mill looking puzzled and sneezing at the same time. As he keeps on sneezing , a big sneeze is approaching, the pepper mill attempts to stop but in vain. The result is the a huge sneeze in which all the settled dust is in the air again leading to the screen to become black and it ends.
Although, the last part was partly phil's feedback, it was really making sense in my animation, as I compare it of a theater or even a opera, when the curtain is going down in the end. the actor or singer bows and then the curtain goes down.
Act one
(Throughout the whole animation an italian opera will be playing, song and artist not defined until the moment)
It all starts with a shot of the table where all the condiments and other objects will be. Being these objects, the pepper mill, a olive oil bottle, Italian bread, olives and Parmesan cheese, as well I'll be adding a set of menus with a typical name for a Italian Restaurant to set us in the place quickly.
Act two
(On this table, the objects will get life and start to act, mainly the pepper mill.)
(focusing on the objects table)
We hear the waiter serving the table starting by asking if they would like any bread or olives, the customer replies affirmatively
so the waiter approaches the table and gets the bread and olives, and it starts the "pick me" game.
On one side, we hear the waiter serving the table asking if the customer wants Olive Oil, the customer replies yes ,on the other side, we see the pepper mill trying to grab some attention by moving around and jumping.
After, the waiter asks a similar question, if the customer's would like some Parmesan Cheese. the pepper mill hearing that decides to grab once again the attention by jumping and making some "grounding" noises.
Finally the waiter approaches the table once more to ask the igniting question, if the customers would like some fresh pepper. The pepper mill hearing that starts to get excited and as just like a soldier is ready for action, our pepper mill is also ready to season the food.
For the last time, the waiter reaches the table to get the pepper mill.
On the way to the table, the pepper mill builds his excitement, and when arrives he starts to perform his "job".
(the previous music now intensifies and is louder)
Seasoning food gives an ecstatic and joyful feeling and the pepper mill seasons and seasons ecstatically the food without stopping creating a cloud of dust that occupies the whole screen, while this is happening we can hear people sneezing and coughing.
Act three
when the cloud of dust partly settles,we see the silhouette of the pepper mill bowing as a matter of thanking to the customers. In that position we hear him sneeze coming from within the remaining of the dust in the air.The dust finally settles and It is a shot of our pepper mill looking puzzled and sneezing at the same time. As he keeps on sneezing , a big sneeze is approaching, the pepper mill attempts to stop but in vain. The result is the a huge sneeze in which all the settled dust is in the air again leading to the screen to become black and it ends.
Although, the last part was partly phil's feedback, it was really making sense in my animation, as I compare it of a theater or even a opera, when the curtain is going down in the end. the actor or singer bows and then the curtain goes down.
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