Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Unit 04- Initial Story Ideas

I have come up with some ideas for my story, even though they are not perfect they can be polished, and I believe I will take if not a good final, at least a bit of advice.

After Phil pointing me Farrelly Brothers type of comedy, such like There's Something about Mary or Dumb and Dumber, it made even more sense the type of comedy I wanted to achieve.

1st Initial Idea:
Genre: Comedy
Character Vs. Technology

It starts with a vain and masculine Lumberjack, who had put a few pounds on, deciding to break this barrier between him and technology, and nervously visits a Beauty Parlour, seeking for a Colonic Irrigation treatment. As he arrives, he is attended and given a paper to sign explaining the procedures of the same treatment, to after realise how it is done.
While the Lumberjack nervously tries to avoid the treatment and wants to left, a living Colonic Irrigation Machine (hose pipe) focus on the Lumberjack pursuing him to give his session.
When he realises he tries effortlessly to escape, just to realise he is in "enemy" territory, where the Beauty Parlour is compared to a mine camp, as he ventures in to make his way to the door, he trips and stumbles on the objects and cosmetics inside the shop, giving him an almost extreme makeover.
Ultimately, he trips on the sneaky Hose pipe from the Colonic Irrigation machine, which is more than happy to do its job.
Finally, A treatment session later, the Lumberjack leaves the beauty parlour, uncomfortable and with little less of masculinity, wanting never to come back.

Although this is not a definite story at all, I can see some potential in it and makes it my preferred, though it needs a bit of retouching and editing, who I am hoping to get on our Story workshops or maybe earlier.
For this Animation, I was thinking of having a stylized character which would resemble a cartoon to add this extra hint of fun to it.
Having a the Farrelly brothers comedy style in mind, I am hoping to create a really funny animation, maybe something silly out of Me, Myself and Irene.

2nd Initial Idea:
Genre: Musical comedy

This young Lumberjack arrives to the beauty parlour aiming to start his career as a beautician, as he enters he realizes that the Shop is owned by crazy Lumberjacks, who trimmer and stylize trees for a living. as he is introduced they start to sing a song made by them, explaining who they, what they do, why they do it, exhibiting the tools and different hairstyles, like something out of Polar Express, with the Hot Chocolate scene. the whole music leads the shop to this feeling of happiness as well as craziness, with water hose pipes from the backwash machine spraying water, trees dancing and Joyful Lumberjacks.

Some Musical scenes related to my idea to better visualize :

Polar Express


Beauty & The Beast

3rd Initial Idea
Genre: Action, Comedy
Character vs. Technology, with ticking clock

A lumber jack is working by a forest setting which surrounds this whole village, by the end of the village is this beauty parlour where people have being experienced strange happenings, while the lumberjack is working he hears a scream coming from the beauty parlour, as he sneaks in to see whats happenings, he is faced with a supernatural phenomenon, all the objects are alive, as he keeps hearing the scream, he realises a young woman, who is a beautician in the shop is beeing hold by this Colonic Irrigation Machine as being the primary enemy, as the hose pipe of the machine is strangling the young woman, our lumberjack, plays his superhero role alongside with his masculinity role and attempts to save the woman, before the machine can strangle her to death.
Throughout some challenges set by the environment of a beauty shop which is opposite of the lumberjack nature, he finally arrives next to her and with his axe cut the machine hosepipe and frees the poor woman, who is gratefully thankful for what the lumberjack did.
As the machine is cut, no more supernatural occurings happen, arguing that was all the machine's fault. for them maybe to start something together. and our lumberjack being the hero for the day.

This idea is pretty rough, if I take it further, I will have to do some editing, for example as it starts too slow for 1 minute animation, also accentuate the ticking clock happening as being quite chaotic and dangerous and for the end reserve something out of a happily ever after book.


Jackie said...

Hi Ruben... I quite like the first idea - the thought of being chased by a colonic irrigation hose is quite bizarre! :)

Ruben Alexandre said...

I really like it as well, I just think with some of Phil's help, high light the high points and cut the slow ones for the 1 minute animation

tutorphil said...

Hi Ruben,

I've read your treatments with interest - and there's elements of each that I like - I'm particularly drawn to the musical one - and the first one seems to be the most resolved BUT - I think there's a suspension of disbelief issue at the heart of your scenarios - which, if we admit it and then address it - your one minute story idea will come together much more convincingly. My thoughts then...

Act 1 - a beautiful female customer enters a beauty parlour, where a very broad-chested handsome male beautician is waiting to lavish time and attention upon her; she sits down and all is wonderful; the beautician guy is square-jawed and pretty much perfect...

Act 2 - the beautician performs various treatments on her - producing an axe to cut her hair, a chainsaw to file her nails etc - cue lots of big broad comedy - reactions etc. You could/should do lots of visual research into the tools/techniques of lumberjacks and see how they correspond with hairdressing and make-up stuff...

Act 3 - it is revealed (somehow) that the handsome male beautician USED to be a lumberjack of all things (perhaps through the revelation of a photo or similar showing him 'unhappy in his work' or standing by a carved wooden sculpture to suggest that he is 'creative - perhaps this photo could also show his lumberjack friends looking at him 'oddly)... final shot is woman - now looking a complete mess - running screaming from the beauty parlour and the beautician left looking puzzled by her reaction - while in his hand is the hosepipe of the colonic irrigation machine...

What's lovely about your combination of objects is the play on masculine roles; consider the backstory of a lumberjack, who, frustrated by the rugged maleness of his job, branches out into something oppositional - but, tragically, still behaves like a lumberjack when he's doing his various therapies - suddenly the logic goes 'click' - in your previous scenarios, the difficulty has been 'why would a lumberjack even go into a beauty parlour anyway?'

Anyway, Rubes (new nickname there!) see what you think...

tutorphil said...

Also - don't worry about using an idea that is the result of you/me/others - the point is to get a great story idea as a solid base - all the personal flourishes/gags etc. will come out clearly through the next stage - which is 'directing with a pencil' - let's get the story ideas as resolved and convincing as possible and then do your thing to sell it as a visual comedic experience!

Ruben Alexandre said...

Thank you, Phil once again for the books.

Definitely, the comedy genre is what i am looking for, the musical idea was more to create such things that were shown in Shrek( with the robin hood character). But I guess it is no time for such thing as well it doesnt have anything else to support it... ( a musical out of nothing it wont be funny in 1 minute).

The idea of the running machine in the shop, yes, it was the one that I tried to resolve a bit more, but as you said the suspension of disbelief is missing there even though is a cartoon, like you said Lumberjacks dont go to Beauty Parlours.

I really like the idea that you presented which used some different strong parts of my 3 ideas. Also the storyline, is part similar with "Don't Mess with Zohan." the special agent wanted to be a hairdresser. It has a lot of funny tips.

I am taking that Idea on board and try to develop not only visual, but also adding some other things but not too much.

As I was reading, it gave me the idea of instead of a picture it could be a sweet day dream, or nostalgic flashback showing him carving or trimmer trees and the camera suddenly turns to the others Lumberjacks and they are looking oddly at him, taking is concentration from the client provoking the misshapen.

Am I going the right direction Like this ?

tutorphil said...

Yes - that might work too - but the 'difficult hosepipe?' again? Hmmmm

Time to starting drawing?

Ruben Alexandre said...

Difficult Hosepipe? yes it is being difficult to include logically on the scene

definitely time to draw.