Friday, 12 February 2010

Unit 04- Script Draft 2

According to Tutor Phil, the dialogue in Act 1, as being just a bit pointless.
So I decided to take it out and add some more dynamic performance, the actions will convey much more than the talking, a case to say that the actions will do the talking.
I had to fill in that gap with something dynamic, so I decided to apply a more theatrical and dramatic performance by the Beautician. It would go like this:

Script:

1st Act:


(Full shot of) Lady customer entering 50's Beauty Parlour. Zoom out to a establishing shot revealing this really cluttered, pastel-coloured site.


Cut To:


(A full shot of) this Middle-aged " Greek- Sculptured" Beautician behind the counter.


As she approaches the counter. ( Medium Shot following the lady to the counter.)

Cut To:

(Medium Shot)The beautician looks at her.


(Following shot) of the Beautician walking towards the Hairdresser's Chair as if he is doing ballet, surrounds it and turns it to face the customer, as if in a act of invitation


Cut To:

(Full shot) of Lady approaching the hairdresser's chair and sits facing the mirror.

Cut To:


(Extreme Close-up of) Beautician's hand turning on a small 1950's radio, which starts to play " In Dreams" by Roy Orbison.


2nd Act :


At the sound of the slow part of the song, first 15 to 20 seconds

(Medium shot of) the beautician gently spreading a salon gown over his customer.

He gentle moves the customer head around measuring her features.

Everything so theatrical.


Cut To:


(Extreme close-up of) Beautician's hand opening the equipment drawer revealing all sorts of tools , from axes and chainsaws to draw knives and wooden mallets.


As the song fastens up, the beautician starts to perform is job.

On the flow of the melody.

Cut To:

(Medium Shot of) Beautician using axe to cut the customer's hair on one side.


Cut To:

(Medium Close-up) from the back of the beautician using a bow saw to comb woman's hair.

Cut To:

(Medium Close-up of) Beautician using chainsaw to file the lady's nails.

All this excitement leads the beautician into a flashback of his past years working as a lumberjack.

Zoom To:

(Extreme Close-up of) Beautician's happy face, leading the shot to the flashback of when he was a lumberjack. showing a transition of features and face expression.

Camera zooms out to:

(Medium shot of) the sad lumberjack trimming a bush with a chainsaw.

Cut To:

(Medium Shot of) the other lumberjacks looking at him oddly and others laughing. (Music stops abruptly)

This happening wakes our beautician/lumberjack up from this sad flashback.

Cut To:

3rd Act:

(Medium Close-up) from Beautician/ Lumberjack's back showing the lady running away from the Beauty Parlour with her hair destroyed.

Cut To:

(Close- up of) the Beautician's face looking confused.

(Fall down shot) revealing what is in his hands. The colonoscope.

(Following shot) to what is connect to, a Colonic irrigation machine.


End.



4 comments:

tutorphil said...

I didn't say 'useless' did I? :-)

Ruben Alexandre said...

nope, the word i was looking was pointless... heheh

is it working better now?

tutorphil said...

Hey - I was making a joke about the 'useless' thing, as in 'bad tutorphil calling my stuff useless' ... you didn't have to correct it - I was being devilish! And yes, it's working, but the storyboard stage will make any fuzzy stuff clear - looking forward to seeing your female character take shape - did you see the post about Colin White coming to visit? Did you se his Jessica Rabbit sketch on the blog; he's quite a character apparently!

Ruben Alexandre said...

Just seen it now, Amazing cant wait for that!!!